TRANSFORMING
EXPERIENCES FOR WELLBEING
Written
Sept, 2013. Updated March 2014
The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said:
For the things we have to learn before
we can do them, we learn by doing them.
Greetings Here’s
something special for you to experience.
And to learn from your experience.
I am very pleased to invite you to improve your life with our
Short Experience Sets
These two week experiences have been evolved over many years.
They are filled with very easy to learn and very practical ways.
You can learn from these experiences while improving your life
with others.
They have been designed for you to progressively build up your
learning experience.
You can set up your own pace in evolving even very advanced
ways.
Now’s a good time to commence.
We welcome you and look forward to seeing you.
You have now a wonderful opportunity.
You can enter into rich life experiences with others
The focus is on you learning.
And you learning to learn with others.
Work experiences. Life experiences.
You can enrich your experience part time, full time or casual.
Many others are completing these experiences.
Over the years people have found their lives massively improved.
You can have this experience too.
Learning to live well with others.
Learning experiences to help you with all aspects of the good
life.
You can take on board very advanced ways that you can build up
in your own time.
Total Care Foundation Inc. uses and adapts
the older Ways of the Region.
Where children were learning things by watching
what older people do.
And particularly, watching how they do the things they are doing.
By copying older people and
experiencing doing lots of things.
And this learning is also happening among
adolescents.
It is a cooperative
activity – involving lots of sharing.
The focus is on learners in the process of
learning.
Facilitators creating contexts ideal for
learning.
In our own cultural Way.
That’s a good Way!
Things go Well!
WELLNESS AND RELATIONAL MEDIATION EXPERIENCES
ideal for:
o
Dispute reconcilers and
relational mediators
o
Wellness Healers
NOTE
EVOLVING EXPERIENTIAL FACILITATORS
Perhaps a way to assist
wellness spreading through Bougainville via these life skills, wellness, and
relational mediating experiences is to evolve Bougainville people living in
differing parts of the Island with the experience to run these learning
experiences well in their own districts.
Bougainville
has a population
of approximately 200,000 speaking 21 distinct languages.
Consideration
may be given to processes whereby Wellness and Life Skills experience are
extended through the population.
Like
the little child, the first step - is the first step.
Do the
first one. Then adapt. Adjust. Change. Find Balance.
We
create examples of local best practice. We video.
We
make this easily available. We spread the experience.
Action
commences small. And spreads
I
am. We are. We go. We do.
We do well.
WELLNESS AND RELATIONAL MEDIATION
Skills Courses are
ideal for:
o
Dispute reconcilers and
o
relational mediators
WELLNESS ENABLER 01
Participants experience ways
supporting healthy communities to be more able (enabling):
o Mapping
community capacity (local experience, local knowing, wisdom, psycho-social
resources, healing ways, and resilience)
o
Identifying natural nurturers & evolving
healer networks
o
Place-making, context-marking and
framing
o
Social
networking
o Self
help groups
o Mutual-Help
Processes
WELLNESS ENABLER 02
Participants
experience ways supporting healthy communities to be more able (enabling):
o
Evolving meeting
spaces, localities, and celebratory gatherings
o
Resilience in
its many forms
o
Relational
Mediation (also refer course on
relational mediation)
o Finding
and tapping into nurturing people who are self-starters with free energy
o Rapport
building
o Back
to the basics on:
o Awareness
of awareness
o Listening
o Attending
o Staying
present
WELLNESS ENABLER SKILLS 03
Participants experience ways supporting healthy communities to be
more able (enabling):
o Gathering
information, monitoring and precision questioning.
o Accurate
cue reading.
o Assessing
internal states, strategic and sorting patterns and external relationships.
o Establishing
well-formed outcomes
o Establishing
and maintaining values guided good moods in groups
o Processes
for event enablers – small and large group process skills.
The
following Five Experience Sets form an integrated set of experiential
cooperative learning
WELLNESS
01
Participants gain experience
in the following:
1.
Establishing and maintaining
resourceful habits
2.
Maintaining good moods
3.
Being safe
4.
Remaining unharmed in the context
of safety/danger and gain/loss
5.
Dramatic pattern-interrupt -
interrupting/preventing anger and violence and other dysfunction
Participants
gain experience in easy to use ways of resolving:
o Burnout (anti-burnout strategies)
o Racing thoughts
o Constant Tension
o High
Arousal
o Stopping
bad feelings and sensations- regaining integrity
o Altering
emotional states towards having emotional flexibility and choice
o Altering
energy states - processes allowing people to readily enter and leave any energy
state at will
o Exploring
how we use our senses in recalling past good and aversive times - sensory
change-work
WELLNESS
UNIT 02
Participants
gain experience in easy to use ways of resolving:
o Massive
body tension
o Mood
Swings
o Energy
swings – hyper energy to exhaustion
o Racing
thoughts
o Uncontrollable
flashbacks
o Fear of the dark
o Frequent need to urinate
o Bedwetting
o Breathing
difficulties interrupting sleeping
o Difficulty
in getting to sleep & staying asleep
o Disturbed
sleep
o Continual
sleeping
o Night panic attacks
o Nightmares
o Tired, exhausted but wide awake
o Waking early in the morning
WELLNESS
UNIT 03
Participants gain experience
in the following:
o Negotiating
being okay about feeling okay
o Mediating
Metaphor - storytelling for changing beliefs, behaviours and emotion/feeling
states
o Caring
and sharing - home, street, track, beach, and bush relational mediation
change-work (mediation skills are extended in the Relational Mediation Courses)
o Self-Mediating - the friendly voice
o Creating healing futures
Participants gain experience in easy to use ways of resolving:
o Letting
go 'disaster zone' mentality - feeling safe again
o Dysfunctional behaviours – e.g. engaging in acting-out behaviours
o Dysfunctional Beliefs, e.g. children may believe that they must
have done something really bad to deserve such punishment
o Family issues
o Massive body tension
WELLNESS
UNIT 04
Participants
gain experience in easy to use ways of resolving:
o Issues of sexual identity
o Issues relating to ethnic self esteem
o Physical, emotional and psycho-social pain resulting from episodes
of harm
o Potential fragmentation of already fragile value and normative
frameworks
o Profound confusion, meaninglessness, normlessness and anomie
o The inability to control or understand any of the decisions being
made, or events unfolding
WELLNESS
UNIT 05
Participants gain experience in the
Wellness Healer Role:
o The
Helping Role
o Engaging
within limits of competence
o Values
and ethics
o Safety
of Self and Others
Participants gain experience in easy to
use ways of resolving:
o The effects of psycho-social, physical and sexual abuse - feeling
safe again
o women and young female
issues
o Moving beyond dysfunctional habitual behaviour that has emerged
from the best responses we could come up with under extreme duress
o Troubling past experience
o Transferring and projecting: clearing misunderstanding transferred
from the past, and projected on to the other side
o Mediating
healing
o Using all of the Wellness Skills:
o
With Children
o
With Adolescents
o
With Adults
o
With people at risk
o
Within Families
o
Within Villages
o
Within Communities
Relational Mediation
involves processes whereby relations between conflicted people may be improved
along with issue resolution
Participants gain experience
in the following:
o Establishing
well-formed outcomes in relational mediation and problem solving.
o Home, street, track, beach, and bush relational mediation.
RELATIONAL MEDIATING 01
Participants experience
relational mediation issue resolving skills including:
o The
Role of the Mediator
o The
Helping Role
o Engaging
within limits of competence
o Values
and ethics
o Safety
of Self and Others
o Mediator
ethics and values
o Rapport
– gaining, strengthening, sustaining & if appropriate breaking.
o Gathering
Information, monitoring and precision questioning.
o Accurate
cue reading; the disputants and their body language.
o Assessing
people’s:
a. Internal
states,
b. Strategic
and sorting patterns
c. External
relationships.
o Establishing
well-formed outcomes in mediation and problem solving.
o Home
and Street mediation
o
Language skills –
general/specific mobility. Conversational change.
o
Re-evaluating relationships
– mediating to balance common ground, group mediation, community monitoring
RELATIONAL MEDIATING 02
Participants
experience relational mediation issue resolving skills including:
o Few
or one trial relearning
o Changing
personal history
o Evolving
good habits
o Dramatic
pattern-interrupt.
o Altering
perspectives on previous painful memories or angry attitudes.
o Separating
memories from bad or violent feelings.
o Resourceful
habits and good moods
o Future-programming
RELATIONAL MEDIATING 03
Participants
experience mediation issue resolving skills including:
o Finding
constructive meanings
o Resolving
internal and external conflicts,
o Seeing
trouble in a better light.
o Storytelling,
performance and pictures as parables for healthy tolerance and cooperative
living.
o Changing
limiting beliefs and attitudes.
o Eliminating
bad or rigid habits.
RELATIONAL
MEDIATING 04
Participants
experience relational mediation issue resolving skills including:
o Letting
go of unhealthy dependence
o Letting
go of dysfunctional jealousy.
o Responding
well to criticism and argument – self mediation skills
o Developing
ethnic and cultural self-esteem
o Resolving
shame and guilt.
o Time
attention and location – for constructive use of time, and organising actions
o Weaving
all of the above skills together as fitting the changing contexts
o
Using all of the
Relational Mediation Skills:
o
With Children
o
With Adolescents
o
With Adults
o
With people in dispute and
conflict
o
With people at risk
The
four form an integrated set of experiential cooperative learning
NOTE
The above Wellness,
Relational Mediation and other Experiences have been shown to be very effective
in rapid release of problems of low self-esteem, jealousy, alcoholism and drug
addiction, misunderstanding, anxiety, grief and depression, argumentativeness,
abusive behaviour, public disturbance and other problems. They are very useful
for those coping with disputes in family and community relationships.
It is considered that
a monitor or intake counsellor will need 45 hours instruction and field
experience, a mediator 90 hours and a senior mediator 180 hours. A master
mediator will need about 360 hours.
A Conversation in Vietnam
Laceweb Visitor:
In the countryside are
folk who are naturally good at nurturing others. We go and find 5 and pass on
life skills and ways to live well. They each pass these ways to others to pass
on. And soon wellness spreads like a
good virus through the countryside.
Elderly Vietnamese person:
You have just described
the model that would work in the Vietnam countryside, where grand parents do
not know how to be grandparents any more. And Parents how to be parents. And
children how to be children. Because of over 100 years of war. How to live has
been lost